Emotional Labor and Men

March 11, 2017 · 1 minute read

This is a big document. It’s worth reading.

It’s a summary of a massive thread from MetaFilter about Emotional Labor.

What the fuck is EL (I didn’t know, either, a few days ago)? It’s the often unacknowledged work that goes into a relationship. And it’s work that’s not usually divided equally between the genders.

In my marriage I do think I did a pretty good job in many aspects around EL, but I also recognize that there was work that she did, that was valuable, that I never did.

Party planning (other than the food). Holiday cards (although I never bought in to this cultural norm, I recognize it has value). Even staying in touch with my family.

Men, it behooves your relationship well being to read and understand this thread. To appreciate and acknowledge. And to share the workload.

Women, I think if you haven’t read about this yet, you may have an a-ha moment when you think about your relationships and what has been silently expected of you your whole lives.


And here is an article about men, as they age, having problems maintaining their friendships.


These are related.