Some advice I recently gave to two friends who are about to have their first kids:

– The labor is the easy part; after that it gets hard.

– For the first few weeks, your wife’s only job is to keep the kid alive. Your only job is to keep her alive.

Feed her, keep the mounds of shit from piling too high, and be the gatekeeper. Be ready to say no – don’t let visitors come if either of them are napping.

In the first few months, people will keep telling you time flies so fast. This is the last thing you’ll want to hear, because every hour seems like a day, every day seems like a week, and every month seems like a year. Time drags for the first three months.

After that, time does start to fly. The first three months seems like a year. The next year seems like three months.