Banana: The Atheist’s Nightmare

April 26, 2006 · 1 minute read

Kirk Cameron from Growing Pains, and some creepy dude with a banana fetish have convinced me.

Finally, proof that God exists!

His thesis is simply that because the banana fits so well into his hand, it is proof that God exists.

What he doesn’t understand is that this could just as easily be an argument that this is an output of the evolutionary process. Human ancestors that couldn’t hold the banana well wouldn’t be able to feed themselves as well as those who could, so the non-banana eaters would tend to die off more quickly, leaving those humans with banana-grasping ability to remain to reproduce and pass on those traits.

Alternatively, to take the ad absurdium route… if a banana fits so well in his hand, and his dick fits in his hand just as well, does that mean God wants him to hold onto his cock? Further, if his cock fits so nicely in Kirk’s waiting bunghole, does that also mean God exists (and wants them to start buggering)?