Analytics

This blog is a weird thing. I guess it’s existed a while, and I’ve pretty much always had a website of some sort once I bought johnstewart.com.

The earliest incarnation at archive.org is 2000; seems about right. It looked pretty much like pictured here, this from 2001.

I must say it was pretty impressive and high tech, compared to its contemporaries. There was a design, an aesthetic, and it wasn’t a total eyesore. The blue text was actually my handwriting, with a Sharpie, scanned in and turned into a transparent .gif. When you rolled over the text, it would switch to a red-colored word, done the same way (but from a different scan).

Always this has just been a vanity site, a way to communicate with people in my real life, meatspace. It’s a way to show photos to and of my friends and family. And sometimes I’ve written (ranted) on one thing or another over time.

I’ve not looked nor cared about what traffic I get.

Anyway, I finally loaded up Google Analytics about a month ago (mostly as I was figuring it out for Susanna’s site, so it was low-hanging fruit). Pictured below are my hits over that time; the peak was 200 hits over two days. These are 88% direct, basically not coming from search engines.

Looks like on the upslope of that, the Associated Press announced that Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert were having their contracts renewed.

So, these people must be those who just mis-typed jonstewart.com, which presently is just a link to follow him (from Daily Show fame, one presumes) on Twitter.

Christians Gone Wild

From: Sharon Burden    
To: John Stewart, Janet Reid
Cc: Mark Coble
Date: Aug 17, 2006 1:26 PM
Subject: RE: reception

Hello John:  I have spoken with Mark and we are wondering if you can bring us the DVD file so that we can have it loaded onto the Media shout program?  Is there anyway we could receive this by tomorrow morning?
 
Sharon Burden
Church Administrator
First & Calvary Presbyterian Church


From: John Stewart
To: Sharon Burden
Date: Aug 17, 2006 2:13 PM
Subject: Re: reception

Wrong John.


From: Sharon Burden
To: John Stewart
Date: Aug 17, 2006 2:14 PM
Subject: RE: reception

sorry …


From: Janet Reid    
To: John Stewart
Date: Aug 17, 2006 11:03 PM
Subject: Re: reception

We are planning on using the big screen in fellowship hall.
 

Janet Reid
Your FAVORITE Jewelry Lady!


From: John Stewart    
To: Janet Reid
Cc: Sharon Burden, Mark Coble
Date: Aug 18, 2006 9:23 AM
Subject: Re: reception

Janet – you may be my favorite jewelry lady, but you’ve still got the wrong email address. =)

johnS


From: Sharon Burden    
To: John Stewart
Date: Aug 18, 2006 9:45 AM
Subject: RE: reception

John – we are in urgent need of you getting the dvd to us so we can install it on the laptop – when could that happen?

Sharon Burden
Church Administrator
First & Calvary Presbyterian Church


From: John Stewart     
To: Sharon Burden
Date: Aug 18, 2006 11:07 AM
Subject: Re: reception

Which one?

http://media.bestprices.com/content/dvd/90/163294.jpg or http://buy.overstock.com/images/products/muze/dvd/210761.jpg ?

The On Campus 2 one might appeal to the kids more. =)

johnS

So far, alas, the Christians have gone silent again. I could have been a lot nastier in my response (this is hardly the first, second, or tenth time these folks have pestered me with church goings-on), but I restrained myself to a PG-rated response.

Interesting how they almost invariably go silent after this. No mea culpa. No ha ha. Just the silence reserved for heathens.

Carpet

Today’s misaddressed John Stewart email…

Hi John,
 
I wanted to follow-up on your order regarding the ship date.  I didn’t hear back from the mill today, but I should have answer tomorrow morning.  I will keep you posted.

Thank you for your patience,

Erin Williams

Stark Carpet Corporation

I guess my doppleganger is shopping for carpet now…

Utah School Books the Wrong Jon Stewart

From Yahoo News:

Utah School Books the Wrong Jon Stewart

Wed Apr 12, 10:11 PM ET

An embarrassed charter school has discovered it booked the wrong Jon Stewart for its annual gala. The DaVinci Academy thought it had made a deal with comedian Jon Stewart, star of "The Daily Show" and host of this year’s Academy Awards, to appear next week.

It sent out 500 invitations to businesses and planned for 900 people.

But last week, it learned that it had booked Jon A. Stewart, a former motivational speaker, businessman and part-time professional wrestler from Chicago.

Shit, if any John Stewart will suffice, I’ll do it!

Those Lutherans again

‘Ol Kelly’s at it again. This isn’t the first email I’ve gotten from her.

Hi John-

I saw you at the Rainbow Connection event when you were busy running and filming.  How did it go for you?

Can we set a time to get together to view the video you shot of me at the Lutheran Student Center next week?  What would be a good day and time for you?  Thank you again for your service!

In the Hand of the Potter,


Best regards,
Kelly Luke
Art & Souls Gallery & Gifts LLC: unique local art
**NOW OPEN EXTENDED SHOPPING HOURS!!**
Art & Souls Ministry: bringing art to worship
601 S. Pickwick Ave.
Springfield, MO  65804
phone (snip)
www.artandsouls.com
TUE & THUR 6-9pm, THUR & FRI 10AM-2PM, SAT 10am-3pm, 1st FRIDAY Art Walks 6-10pm

I doubt she has any idea she emailed someone who believes that all religion is the source of evil in this world, and who thinks that all god-believers are delusional whack-jobs.

I keep telling her she’s got the wrong John Stewart, but have yet to get so much as a response. That’s not very Christian, is it?

Town of Stewart

From a friend at work:

I stumbled across this Town of York history on the web and thought you could appreciate it.  The Town of York is a rural area just west of New Glarus.  Some dude named John Stewart settled the Town of Stewart in 1838.  Perhaps this guy was a distant relative of yours?  They changed the name to Postville some time later, which it is still called.  Perhaps I’m showing my history geek side, but I think this stuff is cool.  Imagine riding into town on your horse and naming a city after yourself.  Those days are long gone, unfortunately.  Enjoy.

http://www.townofyork.org/york.htm

Who were some of the first settlers?  In 1838 John Stewart settled in the area that is now called Postville but was formerly named Stewart.  Other early settlers in York were William C. Green, Amos Conkey, Albert Green, Albro and William Crowel, and Ezra Wescott.  Records from History of Green County, Wisconsin published by Union Publishing Company, Springfield, Illinois, 1884 reflect that Harriet Peebles, the two-year-old daughter of Philander and Hannah Peebles, was the first death, on January 1, 1843.  Philander Peebles was one of the early town chairmen (see “Town Board” on the website menu).  Adeline Stewart, the wife of first settler John, died September 5, 1844 and is buried on the old John Stewart farm.   Many of the pioneers are buried in one of the cemeteries in the town: York Prairie Cemetery (section 23), Old York Cemetery and York Memorial Cemetery (section 5) or the Ula Cemetery (section 17).  How many others are lying in unmarked graves on the farmsteads, or in neighboring towns?

What’s with the Lutherans?

Is there some master Lutheran email list where I’m listed as the one and only John Stewart?

Duane, John, and Jeff,

Thanks so much for your work on yesterday’s NLSW service.  It was awesome (but, then again, so are all of our services J)!  The use of screens in our services is a great addition.  Many parents have mentioned their appreciation of them!

It’s a blessing to work with you!!  Your prayers, support, and encouragement are priceless!

Drew

Mr. Drew D. Gerdes
Kindergarten Teacher
Springfield Lutheran School
Springfield, Missouri

I politely replied he had the wrong John Stewart, and never got a reply. Are all god-lovers this rude?

From the Lutheran Student Center

In my mailbox today:

Hello John!

How are you!  I’ve been traveling and preparing for upcoming events, so I’ve missed you at church.  I will say that the visual presentation at church is so very nice- you are doing a great job!  I only regret that we’ve not seen it more because of our schedule this month. 

I did want to follow up after the pottery performance at the Lutheran Student Center to thank you for your time and talent to record the performance.  Is there a time we could meet with you to view it?  We could meet on Sunday if that works for you.  Please let me know.  Thank you again for your service and ministry!

In the Hand of the Master Potter,


Best regards,
Kelly Luke
Art & Souls Gallery & Gifts LLC: unique local art
**NOW OPEN EXTENDED SHOPPING HOURS!!**
Art & Souls Ministry: bringing art to worship
601 S. Pickwick Ave.
Springfield, MO  65804
phone snip
www.artandsouls.com
TUE & THUR 6-9pm, THUR & FRI 10AM-2PM, SAT 10am-3pm, 1st FRIDAY Art Walks 6-10pm

Ozarks

This week’s misaddressed John Stewart email:

Hi John–

Yeah, it’s a heck of a way to get to work out of the home office! I mailed you a Christmas card eoever arlier this week with a few more details; maybe you got it today.

Overall, the prognosis is good. This is just a bump on life’s highway (ok, maybe a small boulder). But I have no doubt whatsoever I will beat it.

What is new in the Ozarks?

Jerry  

Beats me, Jerry… never been to the Ozarks!

I do hope you get over your boulder, though.