Tyrol Basin Belt Sander Races

For as long as I’ve been snowboarding there, Tyrol Basin has an annual belt sander race in the bar (the bar itself being among the best at any ski hill anywhere) near the end of the season. This year’s was yesterday, March 9, 2008.

Josh, the bartender, is always one of the favorites to win, but I understand he was unseated last year by one of the regulars, "Big". Alas (for Big), his entrant, the only one to ever do a sub 2 second run, didn’t hold up this year, and Josh regained his crown.

The final was between Josh’s two tread sander and one from his brother… I think. I didn’t get all the details, and was involved in too much drinking for a Sunday afternoon for all of the details to be clear.

I did shoot a little video.


Patient Zero

I don’t know what I just squished my right foot into. I expect from the right leg is where the tentacles will begin to enter my torso when it begins to spread.

I let the mutt out and on the way to make a deposit in the back yard, she managed to shake off her little LED glowstick. It’s snowing. It’s cold. I have others and they are cheap; I was going to abandon him out there until spring.

But I could see him, sitting atop the fresh snow, in the zero degree air, still bravely glowing.

"Don’t leave me, man."

"Never leave a man behind!"

"I’m dyyyyiiinnng… . . .. .

Shit, I couldn’t leave out there like that, so I pulled out these big rubber boots from the garage to begin my mission out into the cold yard.

A second after I put my right foot in the boot, I decided it felt very cold, even for having been sitting in the frigid garage.

Five seconds after I put my right foot in, I decided it felt very wet.

Ten seconds later and I decided "Omyfuckingshit gotta get this fucking boot off of me. What the fuck is that?!?"

I pulled out this sock.

This is what I could see down the boot.

It smells oily.

These boots been sitting in the same spot since we moved into the new house six months ago, folded over tightly enough that I don’t think anything bigger than an insect could have made its way in or out.

They previously sat in my even more disorganized garage at the old house. I could have spilled in some oil or something at some point… but what fluid is this color of bright red? Transmission fluid? I don’t know. I certainly don’t remember working with any such.

Did a mouse make his home in my boot previously, and then in the move get trapped… and this is his decomposing remains, partially preserved by the lack of air?

Am I in a zombie flick, and I’ve just infected myself with some ancient or alien parasite? Or perhaps a genetically engineered weapon gone amok from some government lab? Either way, I’m a goner.

They’re still back in the same place in the garage (now with included sock) if you want to take a look the next time you’re in the area. It would be nice to know what in the hell this is. If you have a plausible hypothesis, please speak up.


By the time I got a different set of boots on (with shoelaces eaten off; thanks, Marley; nice touch) and peered back out the back window, the red glow was gone.

Private McLighty was no more.

Tale of the Ketchup Bandit

The Tale of the Ketchup Bandit. Excitement! Intrigue! The Bandit!

Please view the Ketchup Bandit page to see to where these comments refer.

They came in during the whole event, presented chronologically (but without authors or dates).


This is "classic John"!
"We are! We are! The Geeks of the Nation!"
Kudos to you, my friend!


Better angle on the camera to clearly get it on film. What a shitty thing to get fired for… ha…. next interview "why did you leave your last place of employment?…"


I say you put a nice big piece of paper in your drawer saying something like "You’re on Candid Camera Asshole!" and watch him on the web cam freak, then maybe he’ll assault the camera and then you’ll have a couple things on him to discuss with management.

Well, the guy should definitely be fired. No doubt. No remorse. But the holidays? OK, no, he really should be fired.

lol! detective jon… :o)

let us know how this plays out :o)

LOL. That’s messed up man…
See if you can sell the footage to Jerry Springer or Maury Povich or some other bottom-feeding talk show host.

Can’t wait for the next update! What a cheek!

"Urinating in the coffee pot, sex on the boss’s desk, and tearing open condiment packets next on CAUGHT ON THE JOB. "

This WAS pretty damned funny…and yes, you guys are geeks for setting up this whole webcam thing… 🙂

Too funny!

You gotta have a little fun with him. Maybe something like putting those spring snake things in your drawer so when he opens it they jump out at him. Or an alarm of sorts. If he always did it at the same time you could set up a netmeeting session with your pc and start talking to him. Something to freak him out on camera. It would only be fair after all…

What gets me is why would he. Is he pissed that you all leave food and crap out? Does he have a ketchup fetish? Or is he just plan crazy. hehehe. Keep us updated.

I am leaning towards the "just plain crazy" option….

Dude, this is soooo funny you’ve got a following here at work. We’re on the edge of our seats waiting for the next episode.

Dude you should turn that into a porn drawer or some dirty panties and see what he does…..

"This is the worst looking hat I ever saw. I bet you buy a hat like this and you get a free bowl of soup! Oh, it looks good on you though."

You should super glue a quatrer to your desk and see how long it takes him to pry it off. I say 6 minutes and 22 seconds.

Interesting. Yesterday I opened my desk to get some change and to my surprise I had gone through $5.00 worth of quarters. For a moment I thought "Who has been taking quarters out of my drawer?" but then I wrote it off as a poor memory. It may if fact be, but now I wonder.

LoL man I wonder what got in his panties to do such a thing?

Hey isn’t that Lou Diamond Phillips?


I have to admit, I’m captivated – I am more concious to check this every morning than espn.com, and I’ve been doing that almost everyday since I’ve been in the Internet.

I think you should put an empty packet labeled "Special Sauce" in the drawer and see if it comes back full!

Put some porn in the drawer and see if he spanks it.

Nice job with the web cam. Now that the dude is fired, maybe you should train the camera downwards to see the mouse activity…

Subject: watchmouse

you may have discovered a new word for the English language. Since mice cannot bark and are rather nocturnal creatures, it’s only way of telling you that there was a thief in your drawer was to get your attention by tearing open your ketchup packages. It seems to follow that we need many more ketchup packages and mice spread out around the building to alert us of deviant activities..

Maybe you should put some McDonald’s french fries in your drawer to go with the ketchup, also an apple pie, fatten him up so he can’t get out of the drawer then squish him.

Are those keep-alive traps an option?

Maybe freeing the munchkin will make kharmic amends for the now-unemployed human, as well as the rodent I recently smooshed.

Oh John, don’t kill him! You should nickname him "Heinz". You need to be nice to him, he helped you catch a thief!

Aww, he is just adorable. But… I am not a big fan of mice crawling around my work space. I’m not sure I’d want to watch him get snapped on camera, but a no-kill trap won’t do any good, unless you want to drive him miles away from the building before you release him. He sure is darn cute though.

p.s. don’t feel bad about getting the guy fired. He deserved exactly what he got.

I have some nice live mouse traps if you decide to go that route.

That is hilarious. I am still cracking up that some dude got canned over a mouse eating ketchup. Makes you wonder what else is going on with those cleaning guys/gals!?

Great picture of the mouse though. Cute or not, I say set the camera up to catch the squish of the head when the mouse trap goes off, or even better get a good glue trap and watch him try and get out of that.

I had a 2′(with tail) rat in my apartment a few years ago, and it took two extra large glue traps to catch him. Theres nothing like having a small dog in your house 🙂

Anyway, good work John. Im interested to see how you take care of this mouse.

The little mouse is so cute. Don’t kill him. Just don’t keep condiments at work anymore.

Catch it in a live trap, by one of those hamster-homes, and keep it as a pet. You already know what to feed it! :o)


And make sure you catch it on camera

If you catch one you should think of a way to mark it and we can see if they are like homing pigeons and return.

I’m wondering if the cleaning dude, "Lou", is actually a spy from Motorola. He *planted* the mouse in your drawer!

(cue Bond music) "Field Agent Zippy is in trouble!" "Will KetchupMaster, the Evil One, squish his little head?!"

Tune in next week, when Zippy is heard to say "…..squeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaal……"

Great story, and to think I almost missed it! Poor guy, getting fired for legitimate reasons, but getting caught because of a hungry mouse.

He’ll grow up to be a state senator.

Here’s l’il Bandit in action!