Spawn


Observations on Fatherhood #21

Posted on October 11th, 2012 by John Stewart

There was once a time in my life where I would be surprised to find that it’s a pair of dirty socks preventing this window from closing completely.

That was a long time ago.


Observations on Fatherhood #20

Posted on September 4th, 2012 by John Stewart

When a toddler says “we’re all out of toilet paper”, it behooves you to contemplate this statement with a high degree of seriousness.

It might be benign. Or it might just portend thousands of dollars in flood damage.

Be sure, either way.


Observations on Fatherhood #19

Posted on May 15th, 2012 by John Stewart

Sleep Eater

Apologies to Gary Wright.

I couldn’t get this idea out of my head.

To the tune of Dream Weaver.

 

I’ve just closed my eyes again.
Climbed aboard the Sleep Eater train.
Eater take away my restfulness of today
And leave no sorrow behind.

Oooooo.. Sleep Eater,
I believe you will eat my sleep tonight.
Ooo Sleep Eater,
I don’t believe that I’ll see the morning light.

Eat all by my sorry sighs
Or maybe I’ll just go in-saa-aaane!

I know sleep is just a fantasy
help me to forget tonight’s pain

Oooooo.. Sleep Eater,
I believe you will eat my sleep tonight.
Ooo Sleep Eater,
I don’t believe that I’ll see the morning light.

Though the dawn may be coming soon,
There still may be some time.
Fly me away god I need some sleep soon,
And let me see some dayy-liiiiight.

Oooooo.. Sleep Eater,
I believe you will eat my sleep tonight.
Ooo Sleep Eater,
I don’t believe that I’ll see the morning light.

Sleeeep EEEATER
You’ll eat my sleep tonight

Sleeeeeeep Eaaaater
Eat my sleep tonight

My sleep tonight


Observations on Fatherhood #18

Posted on May 15th, 2012 by John Stewart

Lewis is like a New York City cab.

It’s not so much the fact that he’s always covered in spit-up, but because his cry is like the cabbie’s foot on the throttle.

It’s either off. Silent. Still.

Or FULL ON. A raging bleat that throws your head back.

There is no in-between.


Observations on Fatherhood #17

Posted on April 30th, 2012 by John Stewart

It was packing up my bag at work the other day when I realized it.

I was rocking back and forth.

Whenever I’m on two feet, my body is swaying. The kid’s got me trained.