Category: Spawn

Observations on Fatherhood #22

Son #1: “What are you doing?” Me: “Making ice.” Son #1: “What’s the matter with the ice maker.” Me: “It broke a while ago and I haven’t had a chance to look at it and see what’s wrong.” Son #1: “You know you can call someone to come out and fix it.” Me: […] Me:

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Observations on Fatherhood #20

When a toddler says “we’re all out of toilet paper”, it behooves you to contemplate this statement with a high degree of seriousness. It might be benign. Or it might just portend thousands of dollars in flood damage. Be sure, either way.

Observations on Fatherhood #19

Sleep Eater Apologies to Gary Wright. I couldn’t get this idea out of my head. To the tune of Dream Weaver.   I’ve just closed my eyes again. Climbed aboard the Sleep Eater train. Eater take away my restfulness of today And leave no sorrow behind. Oooooo.. Sleep Eater, I believe you will eat my

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Observations on Fatherhood #18

Lewis is like a New York City cab. It’s not so much the fact that he’s always covered in spit-up, but because his cry is like the cabbie’s foot on the throttle. It’s either off. Silent. Still. Or FULL ON. A raging bleat that throws your head back. There is no in-between.