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During the day, he wears the cheapest disposables we could find (Target brand). During the night, the extra cash towards sleep diapers are well worth the expense. Those things could hold a gallon of pee and still manage to keep the poop contained. I’m not sure how much they are, but I’d wrap his butt in cash money if it meant a little extra sleep.
Oh sure, I’ve been spit up on dozens of times, sure, that’s nothing. But never this. The boy wasn’t eating dinner. We knew he was out of sorts, and not eating is certainly out of the ordinary for him. When we’d finished our meal, and decided he wasn’t going to eat any more, I picked him up out of his high chair and into my arms. With no warning, a fire hose unleashed a column of white milk from his face, splashing against my chest and ricocheting from there all over the table, the floor, my shoes. It was violent, noisy, and shocking. Then after a few seconds, all was silent, except the drip, drip, drip from my clothes to the ground. Stunned into silence and unable to do anything to ameliorate the situation, Suz and I looked at the boy, the mess. Just as my brain began to process the situation, the world exploded violently again in milk. After it was done, Augie acted as if nothing abnormal at all had happened, cheerfully sitting in my arms, despite the fact that we were covered almost completely in fluid he’d just ejected. While I’m still not sure what, if anything, I could have done to make the mess less… at least I didn’t drop him.
Susanna is beginning to attempt to train me to not swear in front of the boy. She is concerned his first word is going to be “fuck”. Instead I think it will be (in a scolding tone) “Joohhhhnnnn!”
Right off the bat, the shell-shocked parents get hit dealing with meconium. It is unbelievable stuff… a tiny drop could tar a roof. As the breast milk diet takes hold, though, the poop gets better. Doesn’t smell so bad at all and easy to clean up. Augie just started solid food in the last couple of weeks… and now the poop has taken a turn for the worse. It smells like the inside of a porta potty in August after a Phish concert, is solid, and has quite an affinity for sticking to his ass cheeks. Can you teach a six month old child how to use a toilet? Some more Augie pictures are now online:
On the way to Dallas, we spent two nights in Kansas City to visit with John’s aunt Pat and Uncle Tom and cousins Ryan and Beth, and his maternal grandfather Mo. It was fun introducing Augie to the family — and Pat and Tom doted on him. They gave him a bath, and Tom brushed his hair, and they looked after him from 5:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. one morning, which meant John and Susanna slept a longer stretch than they had in 5.5 weeks. The second night in Kansas City, we visited with family from John’s father’s side, including his aunt Rhita and Uncle Phil, and almost all his cousins. The drive from Madison to KC was about eight hours, and it was another eight hours to Dallas. In Dallas, August met his great-grandmother, Nana, his uncle and maternal grandfather and step-grandmother, and both of his great-aunts. He spent a lot of time sleeping in the arms of his extended family (and a ltitle time sleeping in the arms of a waitress at a barbecue restaurant). We spent four nights in Dallas, including Thanksgiving day. The longest leg of the trip was from Dallas to St. Louis, to see our friends Curtis and Matt. They gave us Vietnamese food and beers and made us waffles and held Augie and laughed at his funny faces and compared him to a billiken, the SLU mascot. We have since called him Little Billiken. The full photo gallery is here:
Make sure it’s got a zipper and doesn’t have 28 snaps which can only be assembled in a particular order. As the kid is screaming. At four in the morning. Your wife may insist, especially when "going out", on dressing your child in "cuter" clothes. A shirt. Pants. Socks. Perhaps a hat and gloves, and a jacket. All I know is when I’m the clock to take care of the boy, his attire consists of one item, and one item only.
When he’s cranky, I howl at Augie and tell him it’s the wolves. So far he’s unimpressed. Another batch of Augie pics are up… including this one by Suz, which IMHO is the best picture taken of him yet.
You have to aim for the largest area of absorbent material, else he will soak himself and leave the diaper dry. Also, there is no other piece of clothing necessary for an infant than the sleeper. If it’s too big, that makes it all the easier to insert kid. |
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